Chapter 8 – Effortless Relationships2 min read

Ramki says:

1. Principle of equals. Willingness to let go of ego. The most cardinal principle for an effective long term relationship.
2. Our scriptures repeatedly point out we need to get out of ‘I’ – ‘mamakara’ and ‘ahankara’.
3. When I read what you said ‘My husband is what I am not’- I was bemused; ‘My partner Sk is what I am not! We have been together in partnership for 40 years being south and north poles! As you say somehow it works! Opposites do attract!
4. On the subject of trust I would urge you to listen to Ted radio hour (a collection of Ted talks on same subject) on the subject of trust and consequences; it aired on Mar 15 2018.
5. ‘Comparing’ which you mention is one of the most dangerous things in relationships. Never ever compare. After all each one of us , our faces, our thumbs, our iris – our everything is different. Each one of us is a genius in something – some know it; some do not ; if we start comparing with a negative attitude, it will not make our life any better. Especially children never ever compare. A child needs love and as you rightly point out needs a constant reassurance.
6. Emotional abusers are good manipulators! That’s a classic statement; a gem!
7. Keeping the phone for charge in a far corner of the room or in another room is a must; I was happy to note in TW meetings there is a place to keep the mobile so that people would not be tempted to keep watching them all the time and sending that ‘one important message’ or mail; it becomes one too many!
8. Cuddling is a pain killer is classic too!
9. Every day finding 10 ways to be grateful is the key to happiness.
10. I recently forwarded my friend’s statement to others. He said ‘My wife and I count each day as a bonus and whole life as a blessing’; that’s the only door to happiness!

N.B:

I love this beautiful video by a Buddhist Monk called ‘in giving we receive’ – about the Red wood trees which live hundreds of years but have shallow roots. They survive hurricanes and floods for many years by linking their roots and making a bond – is not many marriages like that? We owe our good lives to the peace, love and harmony brought about by our strong bondages and the better half.