Geeta

During the course of my career as an ontological and wellness coach, I have come across a few people who don’t really believe in target setting. Perhaps, they are intimidated by the term ‘target setting’ because it can send your brain into a frenzy. It may make one feel overwhelmed about the goals they have to achieve, so they would rather choose to have no set goals and or direction and just go with the flow.

Now this is a natural reaction. Everyone loves to progress; however, we tend to procrastinate where there is fear of failure and the fear of being judged by others. We constantly reel under the apprehensions of ‘what will people think of us?’ or ‘will they laugh at us?’ But it’s so important to first understand and accept that nobody really focuses on these aspects because they’re all involved in their own lives dealing with their own trials and tribulations.

The next important factor is to ensure you have a set of goals and targets and to achieve them you must be ready to reinvent yourself! Become a new, improved version of yourself – call it the smart version 2.0 of you, if you must. This process will entail a great deal of self-discipline, self-confidence and self-belief. If you want to progress and move into leadership roles, possessing these qualities is utterly crucial. Self-discipline plays an important role in leadership development because many forms of personal development require self-discipline. It is instrumental in enabling you to sharpen your willpower and decision making skills along with building several other leadership qualities.

Along with self-discipline, there are several other things you can do to become a smarter version of yourself. Read them in this very insightful piece here.

Setting targets gives you a sense of control. Personally, I would always like to take that pause, take a step back, audit and amend. As you turn to the new, smarter version of yourself, audit your life, audit your habits, analyze how to manage time effectively, how to deal with stress, what is working well, where you can find better opportunities and where you failed. After all failure can be described as an opportunity to learn from and do better. It certainly is a tough lesson and it can come with a big cost, but the brighter side of it is you learn not to make the same mistakes again and the clever part is to accept, understand, move on and embrace change. Of course, dealing with change also takes a lot of effort. But if it’s the right kind of change, it keeps you in that positive space and this positive space is needed for not only progressing in life, trying out new things, or experimenting in life, it also helps you in facing your fears and in dealing with stress. I think it is the best success formula.

Setting targets also gives you a sense of direction. If you do not start with a target or a goal in mind, how do you know where you’re heading? It’s like having a roadmap to your journey. Make sure you make the journey worthwhile and fulfilling because you can be stressed and anxious and still achieve your targets and be deemed as being successful but if you lead a stressful, unhappy life it will definitely affect your lifestyle and your physical and mental well-being.

So if you want to be a smarter version of you, my take would be, to start with a focus a goal in mind. And for that much like you happily do the appraisals that your organization plans for you, do a 360-degree appraisal of yourself. Do it for your professional life, for your personal life, understand how to manage time and how to deal with stress. Rate yourself on a scale from 0 to 10, on where you stand in terms of your eating habits, your physical fitness, how good or bad you are at dealing with problems, dealing with stress and dealing with change. Evaluate what Zen steps or mindfulness activities you are following, rate your relationship with your family – your children, your spouse, your parents, and the people around you – your colleagues, friends, et al. I strongly believe taking time off to introspect will help you form these targets and once you have a target in mind, you can focus on the path ahead. Furthermore, in this path when you construct failures as opportunities, fears as an excitement to try something new, you become more enthusiastic in life, and you suddenly start feeling confident. Honestly, this has nothing to do with you having achieved your targets in real, it just becomes a part of how you are and how you feel – your outlook towards life, work and challenges changes – and that is how you become a new, 2.0 version of yourself.

Once you fixate your mind on transforming yourself into a better, smarter version of yourself, you can grab a read on ‘How to invest one hour of your time to create a successful you’ on my website. This resource will teach you how to use one hour every day to help you manage your energy for the day and bring back the zest in your life.

Stress and Chaotic Work Life

At some point in time, you would all have felt the pressure of an upcoming office deadline after an already chaotic day. Teamwork is challenged further with work-from-home and the resultant break in effective communication with your colleagues. The blurred and stretchable work time does not make it any easy. A little pressure is normal, but if it persists, it can wreak havoc psychologically and physiologically. I say this because one takes stress for granted, becoming a good habit. The result, however, affects your physical health and mental wellness. Your body does give signals which you often tend to ignore, again because of habit.

Owing to the excessive pressure and demands you bring on yourself, stress and mental fatigue have become a growing concern in organizations today. How do you define extreme pressure? How do you handle stress? Have you noticed your body crying for help sometimes? Can you relate it to stress?

Stress is Not Always Negative

Stress can also bring out the best in you. It helps you be alert and achieve in life. However, in most cases, when you think you cannot control stress at work and home, it eventually leads to lifestyle diseases. Some lifestyle diseases are elevated blood pressure, cardiovascular issues, sleep disorder, and maybe niggling problems like prolonged headaches for no apparent reason. It can even impair cognitive ability, affecting your overall efficiency.

Anyone who’s worked themselves to the point of burnout will relate to these symptoms, as I did at one point. I was getting headaches lasting for two to three days, my blood pressure was high, and my digestive system went for a full toss. But I was in denial. How can this happen to me, being a super achiever, organized, calm, and focused at work? Do you see the irony? I couldn’t connect nor listen to my body.

Lifestyle Diseases

When you live 24/7 in stress, it starts eating into your physical health and body and affects your mental health. Let me introduce you to some lifestyle diseases. It starts right from unhealthy eating habits. Maybe sugar or caffeine abuse. You can see a possible weight gain. You may suffer from PCOD and other period-related issues. Early signs of diabetes, uncontrolled blood pressure, heart issues, migraine, common cold, aches and pains, fatigue, sleep disorder, lack of enthusiasm, digestive problems, food intolerances, thyroid issues, and autoimmune diseases like Arthritis and Cancer, to state a few. The good news is they are reversible, subject to how you handle stress. I have the following website to further validate the claim and for your reading pleasure.

https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-2014/stress-and-disease.html

Women Work Twice as Hard

It may be debatable, but I believe women have to work twice as hard as men in several aspects of life, ranging from personal to professional, to sustain themselves in a world full of competition and stress. Women wear multiple hats and have to acquire the skill to juggle them successfully. You want to be seen as strong and confident but often undervalue yourself, costing your self-esteem. It can lead to resentment and a sense of helplessness.

Step Back, and Magic Happens

Once you learn to step back, pause and introspect, magic happens. Women adopt certain behaviours due to conditioning over generations. When you were young, your mothers unconsciously led you to believe that you must maintain a demure image and not argue, fight or talk too loud. Some types of jobs were not considered a good fit. You grow up accepting many ‘inequalities’ or have to work hard and fight against such ‘norms.’

Using Your Unique Strength

Although men have different qualities than women, both important and useful, you bring your unique attributes to work, to this world, society, and your family. Learn to focus on and use your strengths and accept what is not yours.

You can be fantastic nurturers, being emotionally stronger. You are likely to have better focus and attention to detail, an excellent manager skill to possess. It helps to be aware, accept, and focus on your uniqueness and derive your strength rather than complain or live in resentment.

How to Live the Change

Now that you recognize the problems and pitfalls, you want to change. But the how part is challenging. Often, all it takes is physically taking a step back, inhaling a deep breath, and exhaling it out slowly. Sounds easy, yet it is potent. These few seconds are enough to allow your brain to move from its default 24/7 ‘stress’ mode to open a ‘creative’ window. All the solutions are within you, right there in the creative side of your brain. This method of stepping back and observing yourself is a practical first step.

What Other Tools Help Access Your Creative Side?

You will need to slow down at times. Slow down the pace of your talk, the speed of your walk. Slow down and give yourself some ‘Me Time and Me Space’ once in a while. Acknowledge your effort now and then. If you don’t pace yourself, take a pause, validate yourselves, how can you add value to others, be it in your personal or professional life?

Friends add significant value to your life. Share your feelings not only with your spouse, share with your friends as well.  You can even bitch a little and laugh our heads off.  Like I always say, learn to let go, to forgive. Forgiveness is only complete when you forgive and forget. It allows the enormous burden off our shoulders.

Looking for Positive Aspects

Looking for and focusing on even the slightest positive aspect in your spouse, your children and appreciating them is also a great team-building tool, a step forward to building that solid trust. All these steps help in your confidence building, define your boundary better, and make it easier to say ‘No’ when needed. It boosts your self-esteem, your image, and self-worth. Since stress is not going to disappear, it helps you handle stress with ease.

The more you exercise these mindfulness practices, the more you will access your creative brain and find that perfect balance. It helps you choose, from resentment and stress to happiness and excitement, seeking opportunities in challenges.  As a result, you blossom into a strong, confident woman with abundant energy, sharing that happiness while nurturing others while you find success in whatever you seek. Coming back to lifestyle diseases, it is at this point reversal starts to happen, towards a healthy body and healthy mind.

I recommend the simple stress-buster activities in my 5 Daily Exercises for Women guide available on the resources page on my website. Visit the link to download it for free now!