The Game of Change

Geeta Ramakrishnan

Geeta

Audit Your Life, Be Your Own Boss

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Before you know it, your year has come to an end. You look back at the highs and lows, cherish the highlights and move on to the next year, set a bunch of resolutions that you may or not follow and get ready for the new year.

However, do you really take a minute to really sit back and assess the changes, along with what went well and what didn’t? Conducting a life audit is how you can ensure that your growth, be it personal, emotional, or professional is going on the right track and you are able to deal with changes in your environment.

The word audit might sound complicated, but it’s really not. All it takes is taking a few minutes at the end of the day and mentally assessing your wins and losses. No matter how small it be, learning from each activity you are doing or interaction you have with someone else, can really bring about a change in yourself.

You might be wondering if you even need a life audit and the answer to that question is always yes. The main purpose of conducting a life audit is to ensure that you are conscious of how you are growing, as a person. To constantly keep learning and extracting value from your interactions, is how can better yourself in the journey of life and improve your wellness. After all, learning doesn’t end at just the classroom.

Yes, this might seem to be a bit of a task at first, so, you can take the help of a journal. Draw a few columns for the different parts of your life: family and friends, work, mental health, physical fitness. Now write down notes about how you feel about these separate sections. Ask yourself questions like- have I been able to dedicate enough time to nurture this, how do I feel about this right now, how can I better spend my time and energy towards this?

You may have to remind yourself to do this at first, and might even dread it at times, because checking in with yourself means confronting some uncomfortable thoughts that you may be trying to avoid. However, after a few weeks of checking in with yourself, you will find this process to be therapeutic and might even look forward to it!

Here are some tips below to help you with becoming a pro at auditing your life:

Finding a peaceful space to conduct your life audit:

To be able to listen to your inner thoughts, you need to be able to be in a place where you can think in peace. Choose a quiet corner of your house, or if that is not possible, find a way to tune out external noise or distractions. You can do this by plugging in your earphones and listening to some calming tunes or just try to switch off your mobile phone for fifteen minutes at the end of the day so you can have a mini-digital detox and begin your self-assessment. https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrobinson/2020/08/04/listen-to-your-body-talk-and-quiet-your-mind-with-5-minute-mindfulness-microchillers/?sh=32c804f52dab

Choose a journal that you are comfortable with using:

To make conducting a regular life audit a habit, writing down your thoughts will always help. If not always, at least in the beginning. If you feel like you aren’t able to get a hold on your thoughts and emotions because you simply don’t have the time to, journaling is the best way to gain back that lost control. The benefits of writing down your thoughts are simply endless: https://theadroitjournal.org/2020/04/03/the-benefits-of-writing-down-your-thoughts-and-feelings/

Ask the right questions:

Not every part of your life can be dealt with by asking the same generic questions. When conducting a self-inquiry, it’s better if you go all in and tackle the issue at hand by confronting your uncomfortable thoughts head on. Ask yourself what exactly went wrong, how can you make it better, how can you regain control of the situation; how can you nurture this by managing your time and efforts efficiently. At the same time, it’s important to assess your wins too, just because you had a win, that’s no reason to not learn from it. Inquiring things like, how it made you feel and how you can change to make it happen again is something you can strive to do. For some help in this regard, here are some questions you can check out: https://www.inc.com/wanda-thibodeaux/34-essential-life-audit-questions-you-cant-afford-.html

If you need some more tips on how, feel free to check out this link below: https://www.coaching-online.org/life-audit/ Now, you are completely equipped to conduct a life audit of your own. Remember, don’t be too hard on yourself, just try at first!

Move on – Let Your Past Go and it May Never Define You

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One thing we must always remember is that experience builds us to be better, hopefully not the other way around. As life is just like a roller coaster of ups and downs, no one stays on top or down under if you know what I mean. Good and bad days will always come, and it’s up to you how you will learn from it and step up to the challenge.

It is hard to go on with life when we cling so much to the past.

The past is something that is finished, and it is now just a memory that you will always have whether you like it or not.

That means you need to leave it all in the past, too. Those that made you who you are right now, but that is not who you will be in the future.

Live in the now

Being happy is a matter of choice and the key to having a great life is to forgive yourself and leaving yesterday in the past as a finished chapter in the book of you.

When you achieved this part, only then you will be ready to have great relationships and life will start to become easier.

I once coached my friend Sonia who couldn’t seem to forgive someone from her past. I simply told her; how can you love the newcomers if you are still holding on to an old story? Since most likely, everyone else has moved on, so, it is your time now to say, “It’s about time, I am ready to start a new chapter.”

You can read more helpful guide from this story: Healing from the Past and Living in Your Present

Failures are opportunities to learn and grow – embrace it. They are designed to teach and make us stronger, better, kinder, tougher and more wonderful than we are in the present.

This is one of the ways we grow. This is how we move forward.

Check out my page, to equip you more in the day to day challenges of our lives.

Acknowledge what matters, keep the rest secondary

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There are thousands if not millions of different daily encounters in our lives and not all these things are pleasing enough to even recall, you would agree. It could be that primary teacher who did nothing but scold you every single day, because your school uniform doesn’t look as tidy as the rest of your classmates without her knowing the reason behind it – no one was present for you during those time to take care of the things you need for school because your parents needed to leave the house too early for work – and through the years, this has impacted your life in a negative way, giving you less confidence in terms of presenting yourself with other people.

It’s unfortunate, I know. But it’s never too late to get yourself backed up and gain back that confidence you deserve in this world. 

First, you must define the things and the people that matter to you. Once you managed to do that, make sure that only this circle will have access to your inner emotions and self-growth. If one of them breaks the rule of your sanity, don’t be afraid to remove them from the list instantly.

What I’m saying here is that, if the person or circumstance is not in your circle that matters, do not let it affect you. Instead, walk away and ignore the negative things that they are causing you to save yourself from further trouble.

Learn from the things that trouble you and master your mind to get over them fast.

Prioritise yourself because no one else will and know that you are always enough.

Tips?

  1. Choose your circle – Your circle of friends defines you, so it would be best for you to select and keep the quality ones closer to you.
  2. Meditate regularly – One way to reflect and regulate the toxicity of life is through meditation, so make it a practice to have a quiet time for yourself that can train your mind to be calmer and ready for the challenges of the day.
  3. Learn from your mistakes – Always charge everything to experience, no matter how bad it was, there will always be learnings from it that can build a better you.
  4. Share what you have – Finding a purpose in life could be challenging if you don’t know about the basic good things you can do in life – to share what you have and bless others. This doesn’t mean a material thing, it can also be in the form of coaching, teaching and simply being there for your friend that can help them out.
  5. Be grateful – You can maybe all things bad but being grateful is key to lead you to your destination. As no woman is an island, one way or another people around you will help you in every aspect (big or small) of your life. Never forget them and acknowledge what has been given to you that led you for the better.

You can get more of these thought-inspiring pieces as you visit my page and grow more in peace.

Managing Your Energy as a Parent

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In one of my previous blogs, I covered how being a perfect parent is a myth. Yet this is a constant struggle for parents. Bringing up a child is a huge responsibility. It takes a lot of commitment from prospective parents not just physically and monetarily but also emotionally. Even then as working or stay-at-home mothers we often find ourselves in a dilemma in understanding if we spend enough time with our kids. Being on the go all the time can take its toll and we find ourselves running out of batteries earlier than sleep time. This results in regularly feeling drained, overwhelmed and off-balance when it comes to raising your kids. This blog is for you to understand how you can channel in the right energies with patience, and perspective to be the parent you want to be. Read on further to understand how best you can manage your energy as a parent.

Do not believe all that you see

The fatigue that comes with parenthood is exactly opposite to what we see on social media and on glamorizing TV series. Seldom do people talk about the real struggles that they encounter and how they go about a tiring day with kids. Comparing yourselves to others will only result in disappointment and drain your energy rather than boost it. 

Leave your stress outside of the home

Keeping your professional and personal life separate is often not easy. However, it is advisable to keep work stress outside of the home. An effective way to do this is to briefly have a conversation with a colleague or relative before you get home to diffuse the situation.

Ask for help 

Despite this juggling, you should accept the fact that you help and support. Especially during stressful times, enrol the grandparents or friends to babysit your kid. It can give you, as a parent, some free time for each other, to gather your sometimes chaotic and fast-paced life. This allows you to be fully available as parents, where you are more fun to be with rather than be stressed and in an angry mood. I dedicate my Thursdays to spend time with my 1-year-old grandson as his parents use that time to run some errands and simply unwind during a busy week.  

Be 100% available

At times that you are present with your children, give them your 100% attention. By attending office calls during family time, you are unconsciously sending the message that they are less important to you, while ironically you are working for your family. The best parts of your childhood are not those expensive gifts your parents gave you; it is the time you spent together, the times you laughed and played together. Wouldn’t you want to give the same to your children?

Nutrition, exercise and fresh air

It is worth investing in your mental and physical wellbeing to give your body the right nourishment, appropriate exercises and hydration to keep your energy levels in check. You must always emit the right energy that will help partake in your kid’s growth journey.  

Lead by example

If your life is more organized and disciplined, your children learn by example. Co-create the rules and boundaries together, enrolling the children in the process. Define the consequences of breaking the rules. It need not be severe. Missing the weekend out or washing the dishes perhaps. And follow through with it. Playing board games or doing a barbeque together is a great family bonding exercise.

While some of the above require you to make a slight lifestyle change, here are some of the quick fixes that can see an adrenaline rush in your energy levels. Some examples are a cuddle, singing or playing music, meditation, mindfulness, prayer, breathing or deep relaxation and spending time in silence.  Balancing your professional and personal life can be challenging, but it’s essential. You can go through this link for some tips and inspiration.

Five Feminine Leadership Traits to Cultivate a Growth Mindset

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In the professional world, we witness the pressures women leaders have to go through to prove their leadership skills. An individual’s leadership abilities depend on her personal strengths and personality. As we are looking at ‘personal goals’ this month, our core focus will remain on how to nurture and cultivate leadership traits that are beneficial in both your personal and professional lives.

While a lot of what we do in our professional lives affects our personal lives and vice-versa, building a growth mindset will allow us to maintain a healthy balance as we juggle through life and leadership. 

Self-Belief

Believing in one’s self is extremely important for one to take on big responsibilities. Confidence is a belief to create a successful outcome through our actions. When we believe we are good we believe in the value we have to offer. For eg: When we are confident about participating with our kids in a dance competition at school or an important meeting at work, we are more likely to achieve great results. 

Resilience

Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly and fully from an unforeseen circumstance. Women are believed to be more resilient than men. It is also true that we deal with several conflicting personal, professional and systemic challenges than our male counterparts. Owing to unique challenges and individual needs we master the art of building resilience making us susceptible to defy any encounters coming our way. 

Empathy

Women are more empathetic than men. Our empathetic nature allows us more room to build and nurture relationships from the point of view of our kids or peers. This gives us the freedom to evaluate every situation we have at home and the workplace and derive at suitable decisions. Every person is different and reacts differently to a particular situation. 

Adaptability

The need for adaptability hasn’t been more important than now. With the work and home dynamics changing rapidly, women are more bound to adapt to the situations to stay relevant and avoid stagnation. 

One of the ways to adapt naturally to any situation is to have an open mindset and the will to change. Emotional tolerance and spiritual guidance go a long way in changing the dynamics of the situation. For eg: if you have accustomed your mind to adapt to change it will take you lesser time to change from Plan A to Plan B in case of a failure in Plan A. 

Persuasiveness 

To make great strides in the way you achieve your personal goals, you have to remain persuasive. Giving up lightly is not an option. Circumstances may change and can work in your favour therefore, remaining persuasive and persistent always pays off. Have a follow-up and action plan ready and the key is to remain politely persuasive. 

As women, we are constantly developing an action plan that prepares us for unexpected times. Your leadership traits are defined as your ability to detect and respond to change(s) around you, no matter how unexpected or inconvenient. If you are looking for a coach to develop or polish a few leadership traits in yourself, book a coaching session with me!

Are you fit, both mentally and physically?

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In the past year, we have seen a lot of focus being shifted to being physically fit. The pandemic has shed light on the importance of physical fitness. Just as physical fitness indicates ability of the body to physically function efficiently and effectively, mental fitness is recommended for the mind to function well across a range of situations. We have also witnessed growing concerns and conversations around the importance of mental health.

As you take each day head-on, you have an important role to play in protecting the physical and mental health of yourselves and making it your topmost priority. Staying both mentally and physically fit can be an effective treatment against both depression and anxiety. Each day brings with it a renewed opportunity to engage in physical and mental activities that showcase benefits in the long and short run. I have listed down some key topics that will help build your wellness quotient.

Physical Fitness

Physical activity is important for women of all ages. Regular physical activity can improve your health and prevent many diseases and conditions that become a major cause for death and disability. If keeping aside a large chunk of the day aside for physical activity is not impossible, try to break it into 2-3 small parts. For eg: Three 10-minute bouts of physical activity over the day have the same health benefits as a continuous 30-minute session.

Mental Gym

Keep your brain active. There are various scientific ways that assist you in building your own mental gym.  Building mental strength is not different from building physical stamina. Training your brain can help you be more creative, productive and resilient. Practice solving puzzles, build your vocabulary, learn a new skill, take a new route, learn a new language etc. to stimulate and enrich your mind. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is look into the mirror and smile. This is the best way to trick my mind into staying happy irrespective of whatever the mood I wake up in.

30 Day-Challenge

Take a 30-day challenge. Note down 30 things you want to do in a particular month. It could be anything small from call a friend to practice gratitude. Allocate one activity for each day and tick off all the boxes. You could include your fitness goals as one activity per day. This helps you to consciously make an effort to focus on self-care and find ways to make mental and physical fitness a part of your daily life.

Start Journaling            

Journaling is a tool that allows you to process complex thoughts and emotions, to understand them more clearly. This promotes positive thinking and self-talk. Journaling is an effective way to help clear your mental clutter, focus on your mind, and build awareness of your thoughts and feelings.

Time Management

Allocating time for fitness related activities can seem like a daunting task. Most of us are unable to allocate time for activities are important for our personal growth.  Managing your times plays an effective role to solve this problem. You need to dedicate time to think about your goal and priorities to divide time between personal, professional and family time. Prioritize important tasks and do accomplish one task at a time. Value your time and use time management tools effectively and recognize and reward your achievements however close or distant they may seem from your milestones.

Recognizing the Impact of Work-Life Balance and Acing It

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The alarm goes on at 5 am, Sonia wakes up and gets to the kitchen and starts preparing meals for the family for the day. She gets her children dressed and is out of her house at 6:45 am, braving past the traffic and drops her kids to school. She’s in the office by 7:45 am and goes on with the day attending internal and client meetings. Sonia started her own IT company 10 years ago, in order to ensure she spends more time with her family, as the idea was to have freedom while she raises her two kids and looks after her family.

Fast-forward 10 years, Sonia finds herself working 18 hours a day. She’s exhausted and stressed most days. On the weekends, she transforms into a home-maker and ensures everything is in place for the coming week. There are no real holidays as she works for herself and hence, she truly believes that the day she is not invested in the business, it will all come to a stand-still.

She walks out of her home with guilt everyday of not spending enough time with her family and she walks out of her office with guilt as she truly believes she can do better. Although, Sonia loves what she does both at home and at work, she’s never completely satisfied with herself, guilt and regrets have engulfed her life.

This is the truth that most working woman live everyday as they juggle their careers and nurture and raise a family.

As a mother, a wife, a daughter and today a grand mom, my advice to the younger women out there is “Look after yourself as you look after everyone else around”.

Moreover, a flexible mindspace is essential because it allows you to have greater control over your life and achieve a more substantial work-life balance. Here are my five quick tips to ensure you are making the most of your days:

1. Calendarize:

Time management is key. One of the most important time-management tools, yet extremely underutilized by most women. Be it a sports day at your daughters’ school or a pitch meeting at a client’s office, it needs to be in your calendar. The idea of scheduling ensures you are free from all the additional commitments one tends to make during the day. The good part is you are able to accomplish more and feel a sense of accomplishment once you tick off all your tasks for a day.

Tip – Color code your personal and professional tasks, the mind starts making sub-conscious notes eventually.

2. Define your Priorities:

There may be days where you need to take decisions that involve either /or on a certain task. Always make a mental note – family over work. Once you are clear on your priorities, decision-making becomes easy, and overtime tends to become guilt-free as well.

3. Be fully present in the moment:

At work or at home, if you commit to spend an hour with someone on a certain task, ensure you give them your 100% attention and time. This is not the time to be distracted with another task. A good everyday scenario is – when you drop your kids to school, the radio is on and your favorite song is playing, and your son is talking about his football match in school. Here is a decision to be made, and if your priority is family-first, then the turn off the radio and pay attention to your son, and ensure that school drop-off time is dedicated to your children always, with no exceptions!

4. Exhaustion equates frustration:

Me-time every day, this maybe a workout, a coffee with a friend, a Netflix series, reading or swimming. Once you decide what your activity of choice is, ensure you allocate one hour per day to invest that time with yourself. This ensures you’re not missing out on your own time as you fulfil all your commitments. Always remember, if you’re happy, everyone around you is happy!

5. Live life without guilt or regrets:

Go easy on yourself. Try to avoid criticizing yourself, as you are doing your best in all areas of life. It is challenging to balance work and a family, however, we all do our best in our own capacity. Do pat yourself on the back and appreciate all that you do, you are special and deserve only the best.

If you struggle with any of the above, book in a free exploratory call with me. I would love to partake you on your journey to help you reach your full potential. In the interim I might also have some life tips here that will help you as you progress on your journey to deal with the game of change.

6 Important Ways You Can Achieve a Healthy Mind and Body

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Self care is often misunderstood as being selfish or self-indulgent, when it is in fact a conscious act of prioritizing your mental, physical and emotional health. It is all about taking good care of mind, soul, and body by learning how to eat well, reduce stress, exercise, and focus on your hobbies. We often neglect self-care. This is due to negligence and also because most of us are tied up in a hectic schedule every day, have stressful jobs, and are highly consumed with technology to even take some time out for ourselves. In today’s world only having sound health is not enough. Mental wellness plays an important role as well. Read here to know the importance of understanding and recognizing mental health. Please read further to see how incorporating the below 6 tips in your life can help you engage in self-care. 

Be Assertive

Often saying “no” is accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of guilt, feeling inadequate, not enough or incompetent. For many of us, saying no is not just awkward, it feels wrong. Saying ‘no’ is a skill one can sharpen with time by establishing boundaries at work, at home, and with friends.  

Plan and Audit 

Self-care is different for everyone, it isn’t one size fits all scenario. Your self-care plan needs to be aligned with your needs. When you discover that you’re neglecting a certain aspect of your life, create a plan for change. Keep your progress in check, celebrate your wins, understand your failures. Reassess your life often, as your situation changes, your self-care needs are likely to change too.

Learn to express your feelings 

Anger, frustration, and agitation are completely normal and a hundred percent valid feelings. Suppressing these feelings is extremely harmful and can take a toll on your mental as well as physical health. Explaining your perception without coming across as aggressive is a skill that can help solve most of your life problems. 

Healthy Diet 

We are what we eat. It has been proven throughout centuries that your gut health can make pivotal changes to your mental and overall well-being. As a thumb rule, the portion in every 1 serving should be as such – 0.5 veggies and fruits, 0.25 protein, and 0.25 carbs. Track your water intake throughout the day, plan to ensure you drink enough every day. Sufficient water intake will optimize your brain function.  

Make a Fitness Plan

Regular exercise boosts serotonin levels in your brain which results positively to impacting your sleep cycles, appetite, and digestion. Exercising works like magic for you, just 30 minutes of cardio 5 days a week can drastically improve your overall wellbeing. Apart from physical exercises, we often fail to practice mental exercises. Our brain is involved in everything we do, hence, exercising brain should be incorporated in your routine for memory, focus and daily functionality.   

Relax

Take a breather, detach from everything, forget about your deadlines, just for some time and appreciate your presence on this earth, live in the now. These exercises every day for 15 minutes before you go to sleep will help you combat feelings of depression and anxiety. 

If you are looking to up your self-care game, get in touch with me on my website. I will be pleased to take you through a step-by-step guide on how you can ace your mental and physical health by staying focused and consistent. Refer to my page for additional resources that will be beneficial for you as you partake on this journey.