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Emotions
Don’t Judge Your Kids
Don’t judge your kids: A mom shares her parenting wisdom
Published in Online Platform : The Daily Brunch, 4psnews, Womensweb, Thecambaypost, Momspresso.com
And in print : Candy Magazine : June 2020 Issue
I believe the one thing that positively impacts your children’s life is their level of confidence. They look up to you and expect your appreciation in whatever they do.
As mothers, we want to offer the best to our children in any given situation. This puts stress on us, wanting to be that perfect mom. We unknowingly stress our kids out as we want their future to be the best. We end up unwittingly judging them for not measuring up to our standards. However, we do learn and grow wiser with our children. As a wiser mother of two grown-up and married children, I can offer my experience for all the younger mothers out there.
I believe the one thing that positively impacts your children’s life is their level of confidence. They look up to you and expect your appreciation in whatever they do. It helps to keep your cool and be positive and patient in your approach when dealing with children. When your focus on their good behaviour outweighs your attention to the negative, you are indirectly helping them be more confident.
So what if your child did not score well in his/her math exam? Maybe he failed the test. Did you give him a hug first? Did you ask what happened and where did he/she go wrong? Did you praise your child for trying? Or did the fear of your child growing up to be a failure overtake you? Did you yell at him for failing? If you are angry and yell as a reaction, that is exactly what your child will learn. Judging him, calling him lazy for not putting in more effort and worse comparing his failure or bad behaviour to his ‘better’ sibling, works to the contrary.
On the other hand, pick up his good points, even if it seems small. Praise your child for every small thing to build his/her confidence. Test scores are just an outcome. By focusing only on a good score, you are not preparing the child to be successful for a bigger achievement. In fact, neither are you preparing him to face failures. There are bound to be ups and downs in life. But if you focus and applaud the child for the effort and not the outcome, this will be a good life lesson.
I am not suggesting that you overlook his pranks when it needs correction. Correct them with kind words, but it’s advisable to be tactful and clever about it. Maybe your child is not oriented towards math. Maybe you were not either. You will only dampen his confidence by yelling at him.
If you want a long-term sustainable positive effect on your children’s growth into a well-rounded adult, these small praises are the ones your children will remember. This behaviour will also nurture and contribute to their confidence and is a useful life tool. As children, they also learn to depend and look up to you, especially when they are in trouble. With your love and patience, you have earned their trust and helped build their confidence. This develops a healthy positive learning attitude in your child’s life, and it is one big factor to propel them into successful adults.
Precious Mom-ents
Precious Mom-ents on Mother’s day : Article from Yourstory.com and Daily Hunt. 10th MAY 2020
https://yourstory.com/weekender/mothers-day-malini-agarwal-sejal-kumar-lockdown
Geeta Ramakrishnan has rich experience in coaching on change management and assisting people professionally and personally. She wants to help bring to their lives a balance of success and happiness and help them discover their ‘AHA’ moment.
What is the best advice you have got from your mother?
She told me, ‘Dream big in life and follow through the dream with passion. Don’t sit happily with the small wins in-between, nor feel bad about the small impediments on the way. Just learn your lessons, good or bad, and look ahead. That it is how you will find your happiness and meaning in life’.
What is the fondest memory of your mom?
While I live far away from my mom, she and her mom live together. I always saw to it that my mom is comfortable and well looked after. I made the mandatory daily ‘Hello’ and ‘How are you’ calls, and life went by. But a few years back, I decided to spend quality time with her. For the first time in many, many years, I learned so much more about her, not just as a mom, but as a person. It was a different kind of emotional bonding, and a fond memory to treasure.
What do plan to do with your mom first when the lockdown is over?
Since she is living with her mother and without any house help right now, I keep motivating and cheering her up every day. Once the lockdown is over, my friend and I want to go on a ‘mother-daughter’ trip with both our moms.
Introspection Series: Gratitude
Introspection Series: Here is a wholesome and beautiful exercise to help you live this day and every day to the fullest. Let’s spread the magic and gratitude around!
To read more on the many inspiring tools one can use to transform one’s life, you can head to my website : https://coachingwithgeeta.com/
#grateful #gratitude #positivevibes #positivity #selfcaretips #mind#mindpower#timemanagement #coaching #lifecoaching #inspiration #coach #love#selflove #life #mindset #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness#healthylifestyle #purpose #inspire #healthcoach #therapy #wellnesscoach#speaker #meditation #motivationalspeaker #goals #spirituality #fitness #loveyourself #leadership #quotes #business #healing #happiness #businesscoach ##wellness #lifequotes #motivationalquotes #personalgrowth #empowerment #positivevibes #instagood #growth #health #gratitude #lifecoachforwomen #transformation #inspirationalquotes #positivity #spiritualawakening #happy #lawofattraction #lifelessons #wisdom #healthylifestyle #purpose #inspire #healthcoach #therapy #wellnesscoach #speaker
Anger
If you are angry with someone, or someone is angry with you, remember the following:
Remember that the angry person is the one that is hurt from within and is suffering.
The angry person needs to heal first.
Anger makes one lonely. To overcome anger…take the first baby step. To Connect, To Communicate. To talk about your emotion called anger.
Do you expect from people, give it to them first. You empathize first. You show compassion first. You listen with an open mind first. You reach out first. You be kind first.
Then you heal first. This is Mindfulness. This transcends anger.
Just as you cannot remove Darkness .And by adding Light, Darkness dissipates…
By being Mindful .You heal. You are at Peace .You go from Zero to Hero of your life. And Anger dissipates.
#anger #angermanagement #poweroflistening #lifehacks #selfcare #selflove#therapy#selfcaretips #mind #mindpower#timemanagement #productivity
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthexercises #exercises #lifecoach #motivation #coaching#lifecoaching #inspiration #coach #love #selflove #life #mindset #success #selfcare#lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #entrepreneur #personaldevelopment#meditation #motivationalspeaker #goals #spirituality #fitness #loveyourself #leadership #quotes #business #healing #happiness #businesscoach ##wellness #lifequotes #motivationalquotes #personalgrowth #empowerment #positivevibes #instagood #growth #health #gratitude #lifecoachforwomen #transformation #inspirationalquotes #positivity #spiritualawakening #happy #lawofattraction #lifelessons #wisdom #healthylifestyle #purpose #inspire #healthcoach #therapy #wellnesscoach #speaker
Forgiveness is an important part of healing
Forgiveness is an important emotion. It allows us to heal from age old scars and lightens our burdens. Being human is natural and getting hurt is an unavoidableaspect of being human. But we always have the power to forgive those who hurt us, for our own mental peace.
Personally and professionally, it is always important to have a clear, uncomplicated state of mind to get ahead and fully enjoy the little moments. Forgiveness is the pathway that clears many long held traumas within us, paving the way for success and inner peace. It is a beautiful act of kindness we can do for ourselves and truly lightens our hearts.
Remember holding a grudge will only harm our own well being, no matter how justified our anger may be. In order to move forward, one must first acknowledge the past and give it the closure it deserves. Like the saying goes, “To err is human. To forgive divine.”
#forgiveness #InstaVision #Positivity #Instagram #Instadaily #Instagood #Instalike#health #lifecoach #motivation #coaching #lifecoaching #inspiration #coach #love#selflove #life #mindset #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness#entrepreneur #personaldevelopment #meditation #motivationalspeaker #goals#spirituality #fitness #loveyourself #leadership #quotes #business #healing #happiness #businesscoach ##wellness #lifequotes #motivationalquotes #personalgrowth #empowerment #positivevibes #instagood #growth #health #gratitude #lifecoachforwomen #transformation #inspirationalquotes #positivity #spiritualawakening #happy #lawofattraction #lifelessons #wisdom #healthylifestyle #purpose #inspire #healthcoach #therapy #wellnesscoach #speaker #womenempowerment
Understanding the Difference Between Coaching and Counseling
My article from Entrepreneur.com 4th Mar 2020
Link: https://bit.ly/2vI6e1q
Also appeared online: Flipboard : Link: https://bit.ly/2IqWcEO
Understanding the Difference Between Coaching and Counseling
If you do decide to step out and seek help to help, would you go to a counselor or a life coach?Coaching and counselling, both germinate with the same premise. The presumption for both will always remain that every individual undergoes pain in their life in some form or the other. And that many individuals do not go to the bottom of the core problem and rather live with the wound unhealed – raw or camouflaged. This happens more unconsciously and many accept their problem as part of life and do not feel the need to seek help. Sometimes these often recurring problems are so entrenched into their daily way of living, that it seems normal.
This is mainly due to the lack of awareness on what counseling and coaching are and what it has to offer and how it can help people. Some people also live in denial and do not want to accept they have a problem. The social stigma and acceptance level of going to a counselor or a coach, let alone a psychologist or a psychiatric is still very negative. This can lead to self-sabotage of some kind.
At some point in their life, to desire a different result, they must allow themselves to become vulnerable, to seek help. After all, everything you want is on the other side of fear, as aptly said by Jack Canfield, an American author and motivational speaker who co-authored the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
Mental illness like prolonged bouts of feeling sad or depressed for no apparent reason, where going through with your day to day activities becomes a challenge, or feeling suicidal requires immediate help and clinical treatment. On the other hand if you are surrounded with stress and don’t know how to handle it, like un-reconcilable differences or conflict in a relationship or at work, you feel stuck in life, you lack motivation and don’t know what the next better step in life is, or you are curious and want some help with introspecting life, what do you do? If you do decide to step out and seek help to help, would you go to a counselor or a life coach?
The biggest difference in coaching and counselling is the difference in approaches. Life coaches focus on creating a new life path to achieve certain goals. They help you introspect and help you find your solutions. They focus on the now and what next.
Whereas counselors focus on specific problems in hand and look into emotional resolutions to past problems to move forward, finding solutions to those specific problems, while making ‘healing’ as one of the main objectives. One must be aware of the many areas of overlap between these above methods of seeking help.
Let us Explore More on the Differences Between Coaching and Counselling:
Coaching Helps You Take Action and Counselling Enables You to Cope:
You seek a life coach when you are surrounded with stress, feel stuck in life with a problem or an issue, not knowing how to handle it and feel frustrated in life, you have low self-confidence, you need motivation, you need to be a better version of yourself and need that push, you need help to reflect your next step, you are unhappy and unsatisfied in your job and maybe want to change your job or your profession, you are feeling low, you have a relationship issues, you want a better work-life balance, you want to improve your health but don’t know the next step and you need someone to handhold you, you procrastinate and waste time and need help in planning and organizing your life better.
Coaches focus on introspection and are action-oriented when it comes to resolving the issue. They believe in giving the clients problem-solving skills rather than specific solutions to a problem. It helps the client handle and successfully adapt to any other situation and stress the client may face in the future. They work with you to identify the problem, set goals to resolve the problems and create a path to achieve the goals.
Some situations which can help by going to a counselor are when you have addiction issues like smoking, alcohol, substance abuse, eating disorders like excessive eating or anorexia, physical or verbal abusive behavior, any phobias like fear of water or crowded places, feeling frustrated with others, suffered a traumatic experience, maybe a bereavement, or sometimes you are just feeling demotivated. Counselors encourage their clients to talk about their problems and help them cope with the problems that they are facing by finding solutions to those problems. They take you to your past, delve in the emotional turmoil, looking for links and solutions to your issues. Healing forms a big part of finding solutions. They also work with other coping mechanisms like communication skills, group support, and therapy to get better solutions for the problems at hand. This enables clients to either reduce or tolerate the stress or conflict in their lives. Broadly there are two types of coping mechanisms: active and avoidant. Counselors also guide clients on using adaptive coping mechanisms such as support, relaxation, physical activity or humour
Feeling and Thinking
A life coach assists one in thinking and introspection. And thinking is hard! This by itself is challenging. Thinking is encouraged to overcome a situation and to optimize potential. Counselors help one realize the deepest of the feelings. They support one with a lot of understanding and help one stay at peace.
Goal-centric vis-à-vis Clarity-centric:
Coaches are trained to help one see clearly where one is today and then move towards the goals. Counselors create a safe and supportive space to find out where one is tuck in their life and not able to liberate themselves.
Training and Certification:
Counselors have various master’s and doctorate degrees and they are licensed by their respective states too. Coaches obtain certification through an accredited program like the International Coaching Federation and there are no degree requirements. Though coaching training does consist of several weekends of in-person training along with online modules. Case studies are submitted for review. Counselors in the UK have extensive training in human emotions and thinking, followed by being a supervised trainee. However, anyone can legally designate themselves as a counselor or a coach in the UK. This is different in the United States, where it is not legal to call oneself a counselor without recognised training. In India, most counselors have a background in psychology. Hence it is important to ask one’s coach or counselor about their training.
We Would Also Like to Cover a Few Myths on This Subject:
Myth 1
Coaching only focuses on the present and the future. Counselling exclusively focuses on the past.
Myth 2
Counselors offer advice and on what to do, whereas, coaches do not.
Summary:
Coaching helps people achieve their goals. The basic presumption itself of coaching is that coaching clients are in a healthy mental and physical space and are prepared to receive guidance and direction on how to achieve their goals. And hence the work involved is on getting inspired and motivated on planning, changing and updating.
Counselors create safe and supportive spaces so that one can explore questions like ‘where one is stuck’, ‘who one really is’ and ‘how to cope up with what one is facing in life’. Counselors help you identify problems and act as a solid support system to assist you in gaining strength.
#Loveyourself
Women Fitness online : Feb 2020 issue
When I have asked people how they prioritize themselves, their work and their family, I often get this answer: Work, family and me. If you are playing an important pivotal role in your family and/or at work, doesn’t it make sense to focus first on ‘you’, to make you stronger, calmer, grounded person to be able to handle all the chaos and madness around you? Yes. It is counter-intuitive. You are so focused and pulled down by the stress in life that you have no time to breathe. As women, we tend to be natural givers and forget it is ok to receive as well. Listen to your body, give it a break once in a while and outsource help. Take time to look after your body. It could be in the form of exercise, healthy eating, taking time to groom yourself or taking that much-needed break even if it is over your children’s need. Meet friends for coffee and perhaps indulge in a guilt-free shopping spree.
Once you give time, space and energy to nurture yourself, your mind becomes calmer and more relaxed. This positive energy shows up in your body as well. You are better equipped to handle the stress around you, be it at home or in your office. Once you learn to love and respect yourself first, you metamorphize into a positive, happy and confident woman with an ability to give more, to your family, to friends and at work.
#Loveurself Because you are worth it