When you spend a majority of your time in worry and anxiety, the stress affects every cell of your body and reacts by getting inflamed. Your organs, be it heart, lungs, kidney, skin, stomach are but a bunch of cells. Inflammation of these organs leads to a variety of diseases from thyroid disorder, to indigestion issues, to diabetes, to heart attack. The next time your minds chooses to worry, take a pause and remember the harm you are causing your body…Is it worth it?
Emotions
Blog 37/52: Learn From Your Children
Monday Blog 37/52:
Learn From your childrenI
f you get an opportunity, watch a baby learn to walk. They will get up wobbly placing one foot and then the next, falling in the process. Cry a bit maybe, only to get up and try again and again and again till one day they are walking with confidence and soon will be running all around the house.
Children are so pure, living in the moment. Not worried of what people with think or say.
Between 0 to 7 years, children are busy learning all the survival skills needed and are said to operate from their conscious mind. After which it switches to a sub-conscious mind, where behaviors are based on learnt perceptions and often on repeat mode, as we start forming habits.
Let us learn from the children and re-examine and learn to unlearn some perceptions, to not be judgmental and governed by what people will say, to focus on the now, to laugh aloud and to enjoy life one moment at a time.
Domestic Abuse
There is a huge increase in domestic sexual abuse .. and with no where to go. Courts, lawyers, social workers, police are sometimes either not working or out of reach during this pandemic. And people often find it difficuilt to discuss such matters, and this abuse is unfortunately applicable to all strata of society. Hope this thread helps as many people as possible. Let us all stand united against this social evil.
The national lockdown has reported more than 50% rise in the domestic violence.
86% women who experience domestic violence do not seek help in India
Physical signs:
Black eyes, busted lips, red or purple marks on the neck, sprained wrists, bruises in the arm.
Emotional Signs:
Low self esteem, overly apologetic or meek, fearful, changes in sleeping or eating patterns, anxious or on edge, symptoms of depression, loss of interest in once enjoyed activity, talking about suicide.
Behavioral Signs
Becoming withdrawn or distant, cancelling appointments or meetings last minute, being late often, excessive privacy concerning their personal life, isolating themselves from friends and family
Blog 34/52: When Do You Walk Out
When do you Walk out of a Relationship..In a marriage relationship, like any other relationship, it is good to define your boundaries from the start. Like some things are a big NO NO. Any form of repeated physical abuse, even if followed by a sorry every time is a NO NO. Any form of emotional abuse is more harmful than physical abuse. Be it bullying or temper tantrums or repeated derogatory remarks with the intention of putting you down, where you begin to doubt your own capability and self-worth is a big NO NO. Once this abusive behavior becomes a pattern, over time the abuser may not even be aware of this pattern as much as the recipient who may tend to accept it. The aggressor is often weak and the abuse give them a false sense of power. They may often need help to come out of this pattern. You saying NO is the first best step. Seek professional help. If the abusive partner is not willing to take this matter seriously and unwilling to take consistent action, then walking out of the relationship, however difficult it may be, will help getting your dignity and confidence back.
Blog 33/52: Elephant in the Room
Blog 33/53
Address the Elephant in the Room
When your partner is angry, upset or sad, they sometimes just need a safe space to vent their frustration. They need your grounded presence, a shoulder to cry on. They are not looking for a solution to their problem, or your critical advice which often goes as ‘I told you so’. They want your patient ear, no retort, no judgement, no comments. Let your partner vent the frustration. If you are the unwitting victim to this anger and irritation, hear it out without reacting. Tell your partner you both can revisit this discussion with a calmer state of mind. Use that calm opportunity, often found by the next day, to check what triggered the anger. If hurtful words were used in anger, simply address it with an even tone, saying you do not appreciate such hurtful words. Often conversations in a calm frame of mind turn out to be more fruitful. And it is always better to address the elephant in the room at the appropriate time rather than sweep it under the carpet to buy temporary peace.
Blog 32/52 Partner or Clone
Blog 32/52:
What would it be like to marry a clone like partner, matching every way you think and feel and behave? Imagine you like the same music, same food, same movies, both aggressively career oriented, getting angry about the same things…you think life will be smooth and fun? Think again…
When you partner with someone loving and caring and with a different perspective, it helps you reflect your thoughts, to argue yet learn, to supplement each other’s growth. You learn openness and flexibility, both being important elements for your personal growth and in-turn enabling you to offer your confident solid presence in your relationship.
Elements of a successful relationship are when both partners have the space for personal growth, yet be able to support and contribute to each other’s growth and also thrive as a team, learning from each other’s strength and weakness.
Blog 27/52 Internal Perception
Blog 27/52 Internal Perception
Imagine today happens to be that relaxed weekend and you are in a cozy corner with your favorite book. Suddenly you hear your neighbor shout out to you, ‘There is a COVID victim in the building and it must be Lisa’. I bet your reaction will be to literally jump up, your heart raising and your tone all excited and high, shouting back : ‘OMG, how careless of Lisa’.
Our brain accepts whatever information we feed it as ‘The Truth’ without any filters. The information we hear and build on could be real or it could be our imagination or how we perceive it. And when we operate with fear and anxiety, the analyzing and logical power of our brain is shut down. How could you be so sure it was Lisa? How do you know the neighbor’s information is correct?
We need to understand and accept our perception can be blinded. We need to be mindful and take the effort to view the world with an openness. This will allow us to be more calm and get a better handle of the situation.
Blog 24/52: Stress to Zen
Blog 24/52 – Stress to Zen
Find a relatively quiet corner of the room, facing the window. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen minutes and try and listen, making a mental note of what you hear. The children playing, background music or news playing from your TV, car horns, birds chirping, dog barking… Listen carefully. Now focus on the inner voice. Your mind telling you this is a waste of time, you have that client call coming up, you hate his voice, what is your lunch going to be but you hate that vegetable, let me check my WhatsApp message, has it been ten minutes already…. Let the noises and voices go past you, as you watch it like a movie. Be the observer.Soon your mind will train to quieten down, maybe not today, but with practice. You are creating that path to your brains to choose and move from Stress to Zen.