Emotions

We have always been taught two things first in our lives: To say Yes or No – without giving it such stress, the latter connotes something negative and the former is positive for sure. Whilst most of you nonetheless would agree, an interesting question now is if you ever thought or experience the psychological cost of rarely saying No? 

Our behaviours outdoor fairly reflect on how we were brought up by our parents, family members and respective caretakers in the house, and these things affect the way we negotiate or arrange things with other people growing up. For example, some would be comfortable declining a friend’s offer at a coffee shop randomly because this person being invited simply needs to sleep early. No negotiations. Just No. In the same invite scenario, another person being invited will just show up anyway just to avoid any emotional rejection it can cause the inviter. 

Becoming an adult is just a cycle of change, and it’s clearly up to you how you would like to keep it running in your circle including the art of saying no to things that don’t measure up to your goals and values in life. So, why waste the time? Unless you do not care or is just simply being careless. 

You see now, people have different mindsets and it will all depend on how the receiver and the taker will react upon it.

But what is the moral lesson here? Could it be boundaries?

Yes, you read it right. Applying self-boundaries limit and protect you from many unnecessary emotional strains, attachments towards other people, things and circumstances you may have involved yourself in through life. 

Having said that, it’s never too late to achieve more peace and healthy surroundings. Check out this article on how wellness programs, say from your respective company can benefit you.

No-No’s but with finesse

Always be kind in writing text or messages, so the person you’re turning down knows you still care? 

Here are some strategies, as well as examples of how to say No politely:

1) Respond with kindness and a compliment

Example: Your collaboration proposal is interesting and thanks to you for sharing it with me, but it’s not a good fit for my coaching site.

2) Give reasons

Example: I can’t take over your coaching session this afternoon—I’m busy onboarding a new blog on my page and have a deadline I need to hit.

3) Be brief

Bad example: Leslie, I can’t help with that.

Better example: Unfortunately, Leslie, I’m afraid I can’t help with that.

4) Offer an alternative

Example: I can’t make the yoga vice president available for the speech conference before your deadline, but I’m happy to give a 10-min talk over Zoom. I can share some vision and inspiring journeys of all our happy members.

Declining an offer or simply saying No, is an essential part of life. While you don’t always have to explain, it’s often worth taking the time to express yourself kindly.

Your choice. Your life. Run it wisely.

For more inspiring blogs, please visit my page for additional resources that can help you grow mentally and spiritually.

One thing we must always remember is that experience builds us to be better, hopefully not the other way around. As life is just like a roller coaster of ups and downs, no one stays on top or down under if you know what I mean. Good and bad days will always come, and it’s up to you how you will learn from it and step up to the challenge.

It is hard to go on with life when we cling so much to the past.

The past is something that is finished, and it is now just a memory that you will always have whether you like it or not.

That means you need to leave it all in the past, too. Those that made you who you are right now, but that is not who you will be in the future.

Live in the now

Being happy is a matter of choice and the key to having a great life is to forgive yourself and leaving yesterday in the past as a finished chapter in the book of you.

When you achieved this part, only then you will be ready to have great relationships and life will start to become easier.

I once coached my friend Sonia who couldn’t seem to forgive someone from her past. I simply told her; how can you love the newcomers if you are still holding on to an old story? Since most likely, everyone else has moved on, so, it is your time now to say, “It’s about time, I am ready to start a new chapter.”

You can read more helpful guide from this story: Healing from the Past and Living in Your Present

Failures are opportunities to learn and grow – embrace it. They are designed to teach and make us stronger, better, kinder, tougher and more wonderful than we are in the present.

This is one of the ways we grow. This is how we move forward.

Check out my page, to equip you more in the day to day challenges of our lives.

In recent years we have seen a rise in more knowledge sharing on the need for positive affirmations. Manifesting positive thoughts can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat these positive thoughts, you start believing in them and make changes to achieve them. Simply put, manifesting brings similar results as that of daily exercises to your physical health. 

Why is manifestation important during your pregnancy you may ask? With so many physical and emotional changes that you are going through, positive affirmations help to ease anxiety and fear, because our thoughts and emotions affect our unborn babies and impact their development. Manifesting positive thoughts will make you and your baby thrive throughout this transition phase. Just like you need to exercise to keep your body strong and healthy, you need to train your mind to have the birth you desire.

This blog will help cover the importance of positive affirmations and self-talk during your pregnancy. 

Traditionally when I was pregnant my grandma told me to ‘listen to bhajans, don’t go out after sundown, be happy, eat well’. This was her way to tell me to maintain a happy and positive environment. 

Continuous growth 

Remaining physically active is well recognized as being an important part of your pregnancy, and you can exercise as advised by your gyne. As your baby is developing physically, there is also mental development happening simultaneously inside your womb. The child is learning its first lessons on survival instincts from its primary source – his/her parents. If you are happy, you give that happy energy to the baby developing in your tummy, and it is more likely that your baby is born a calm and happy baby. If you are anxious, have fear, you also give that negative energy to the baby and you are more likely to have a cranky baby. 

Keep your anxieties and worries at bay

As humans, we have developed a tendency to be attracted to negative thoughts more than positive ones, even though both are floating around us. We often miss paying equal attention to our smaller blessings and wins which we take for granted. So all I am saying is to let the negative thoughts, fears and anxiety be. Don’t swipe them under the carpet. Instead focus more of your attention on what you still have around you that is good, that works for you. For example, you are blessed to be pregnant, you have access to good nutrition, a family to be with you perhaps, to medical attention. Such self-talk will help you to remain more often in a positive zone, where you can offer a happy environment of growth to your baby. Positive affirmations like I am happy, I am strong and capable of handling my pregnancy, I am going to have a happy, healthy baby gives you the confidence even if it is your first pregnancy, and you pass this confidence to your child in the womb. 

Positive Information and Communications

Positive affirmations are a way of communication with the baby. Another way for you to communicate is for you and your husband to talk to the baby as often as possible. Avoid fights or being unhappy and anxious. And both of you read all you can about pregnancy, childbirth and child development articles, so you are as prepared with as much knowledge as possible. You can find personal examples of affirmations here.

In one of my previous blogs, I covered how being a perfect parent is a myth. Yet this is a constant struggle for parents. Bringing up a child is a huge responsibility. It takes a lot of commitment from prospective parents not just physically and monetarily but also emotionally. Even then as working or stay-at-home mothers we often find ourselves in a dilemma in understanding if we spend enough time with our kids. Being on the go all the time can take its toll and we find ourselves running out of batteries earlier than sleep time. This results in regularly feeling drained, overwhelmed and off-balance when it comes to raising your kids. This blog is for you to understand how you can channel in the right energies with patience, and perspective to be the parent you want to be. Read on further to understand how best you can manage your energy as a parent.

Do not believe all that you see

The fatigue that comes with parenthood is exactly opposite to what we see on social media and on glamorizing TV series. Seldom do people talk about the real struggles that they encounter and how they go about a tiring day with kids. Comparing yourselves to others will only result in disappointment and drain your energy rather than boost it. 

Leave your stress outside of the home

Keeping your professional and personal life separate is often not easy. However, it is advisable to keep work stress outside of the home. An effective way to do this is to briefly have a conversation with a colleague or relative before you get home to diffuse the situation.

Ask for help 

Despite this juggling, you should accept the fact that you help and support. Especially during stressful times, enrol the grandparents or friends to babysit your kid. It can give you, as a parent, some free time for each other, to gather your sometimes chaotic and fast-paced life. This allows you to be fully available as parents, where you are more fun to be with rather than be stressed and in an angry mood. I dedicate my Thursdays to spend time with my 1-year-old grandson as his parents use that time to run some errands and simply unwind during a busy week.  

Be 100% available

At times that you are present with your children, give them your 100% attention. By attending office calls during family time, you are unconsciously sending the message that they are less important to you, while ironically you are working for your family. The best parts of your childhood are not those expensive gifts your parents gave you; it is the time you spent together, the times you laughed and played together. Wouldn’t you want to give the same to your children?

Nutrition, exercise and fresh air

It is worth investing in your mental and physical wellbeing to give your body the right nourishment, appropriate exercises and hydration to keep your energy levels in check. You must always emit the right energy that will help partake in your kid’s growth journey.  

Lead by example

If your life is more organized and disciplined, your children learn by example. Co-create the rules and boundaries together, enrolling the children in the process. Define the consequences of breaking the rules. It need not be severe. Missing the weekend out or washing the dishes perhaps. And follow through with it. Playing board games or doing a barbeque together is a great family bonding exercise.

While some of the above require you to make a slight lifestyle change, here are some of the quick fixes that can see an adrenaline rush in your energy levels. Some examples are a cuddle, singing or playing music, meditation, mindfulness, prayer, breathing or deep relaxation and spending time in silence.  Balancing your professional and personal life can be challenging, but it’s essential. You can go through this link for some tips and inspiration.

Kids’ brains are like sponges, absorbing everything around them. This is why dealing with their failures and achievements needs to be done diligently. They look up to their parents for support and appreciation in whatever they do which also impacts their level of confidence. 

As we stress ourselves out to become the best version of a parent possible, this impacts our children too. We set the highest possible standards for them because we want nothing but the best for them, but when they aren’t able to measure up to said standards, we end up judging them instead. 

However, parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and we all learn as we go. In the pursuit of being a perfect mother, here are some things we can keep in mind. 

Level of confidence

The impact of a high level of confidence is underrated in the life of your child. Not just in terms of achievements, but it also impacts how they perceive themselves. Diverting attention from their pitfalls and focussing on their wins instead helps them be self-assured. 

Keep cool, be positive and patient

Praise them for their achievements, no matter how small it seems. Try to change their outlook toward failure as not just a loss, but a stepping stone to success. Push them to just try their best, not to always focus on the win. 

Not scoring well in tests

Test scores, at the end of the day, are just a number. By teaching them to get up every time they are knocked down, you are preparing them, not just for exams, but for life instead. Try to be as supportive as possible. It’s perfectly natural for your kids to not be academically brilliant in every subject. If they ever score low in any exam or test, give them a hug, have a conversation with them about where they went wrong and try to be encouraging. 

Don’t shout during failures 

Every parent is scared for their child and only wants the best for them. However, if your first reaction is to yell at your child, this will negatively impact your child’s perception of failure in life. It also dampens their confidence and instils fear in them to try again. 

Comparing their behaviour to the ‘better’ sibling 

This is a common tactic used by parents to show their kids the ideal behaviour- by comparing them to either their friends or their siblings. However, this only results in the child feeling judged and inadequate. This doesn’t mean you should overlook their pranks and bad behaviour whenever it needs correction. Do guide them with kind words and be tactful about it. 

At the end of the day, keep in mind to go easy on yourself and on your kid as well. Little gestures for your child go a long way in their growth and development. As children, they look up to you whenever they need comfort or support. 

Visit my blog to read more articles on parenting, health and wellness! 

Family is one of the most fundamentally important institutions in our society. The size of a family has changed over the years. We have seen a major shift as modern-day couples now choose to live in a nuclear family setup as opposed to in joint families. Earlier, most children enjoyed the company of multiple family members around them. This ensured the primary caregiver received help from senior members in the house. Children growing up in a joint family tend to develop a greater sense of belongingness and bonding than those raised in a nuclear family setup. Even though living in a joint family has its perks, there is constant pressure of bringing up the child in a certain way. In a nuclear setup, as the number of caregivers reduces, it brings with it the independence and liberty for the parents to participate wholly in their parenting journey. This independence comes with its own set of challenges. In their quest to be ‘perfect parents’, the couple finds themselves falling into a trap of ‘comparison’, ‘guilt’, and ‘unfavourable expectations’, which does more harm than good. You can see more information on how to change your parental strategy when your child enters their teenage years.

Read on further to understand how replacing the word ‘perfect’ with ‘positive’ can bring about a change in the way you raise happy and successful children. 

Parenthood is a journey to learn from unique experiences

Parenting on its own is an overwhelming feeling. As we dawn on this important journey of parenthood, it becomes important to note that every parenting journey is unique and circumstantial. It comes with a huge responsibility of learning how to deal with change Although we might have similar situations as that of our peers, the way we handle them is unique to us alone. It is also important to be aware that the parenthood experience among siblings will also be different and not the same. As parents, it is our responsibility to raise our children in the best way that we know of, that works as per our family’s strengths, weaknesses and abilities. 

Parenting is Intuitive

Parenting is not a competitive sport or a one-size-fits-all formula. I would say it is instincts based. Every time there is a situation, look for signals from your child and follow your gut instinct. Have a readily adaptable and flexible approach to enjoy the natural joy and fun that comes with Parenting. Make your parenting choices and be proud of them. 

Do not fall into the Guilt Trap 

Society and media (social media inclusive) impose enormous amounts of pressure on parents to perfect the art of parenting. This could lead you to question pretty much everything that you do. Let go of other people’s opinions and criticism. Do not focus on what other people are doing, whether right or wrong. Carefully choose your peers, the ones who are sharing real problems and not always glamorizing their parenthood journey. Rather than focusing on what you think is wrong, focus on what you can do best at the moment. In today’s world, we see the focus of ‘perfect parenting’ slowly shifting to ‘perfect motherhood’. Do not shy away from asking for help. Set healthy routines and always check in on your well-being and practice self-care. No course or training can prepare you for your parenting journey, you learn from your unique experiences and challenges. 

Happiness trumps perfection

There cannot be a single benchmark for perfection in parenthood. Parenthood does not equal sainthood. An overtly loving and caring (seemingly perfect) parent could end up harming the child at times. A selfish parent can sometimes make a child learn the values of compassion and generosity. We would any day take a happy and compassionate parent over a ‘perfect parent. To an innocent child, their parents are perfect. When the child grows up this naive assumption may change into disillusionment or may not change and they may continue to hold onto this naive belief. But the world implicitly knows that there is no such thing as a perfect anything. As there are no perfect people, there are no perfect parents and no perfect children. It is advisable to not evaluate parenting with a flawed yardstick of perfection. What matters more is freedom and happiness. It is necessary to dispel the myth of perfect parents and replace it with positive and happy parents to reflect it with happy and positive children to save everyone from the exasperating ritual of parenthood. It is time to get real, candid, and rational about the way we view parenting. I have curated some content that will help you navigate through your parental journey.

Self care is often misunderstood as being selfish or self-indulgent, when it is in fact a conscious act of prioritizing your mental, physical and emotional health. It is all about taking good care of mind, soul, and body by learning how to eat well, reduce stress, exercise, and focus on your hobbies. We often neglect self-care. This is due to negligence and also because most of us are tied up in a hectic schedule every day, have stressful jobs, and are highly consumed with technology to even take some time out for ourselves. In today’s world only having sound health is not enough. Mental wellness plays an important role as well. Read here to know the importance of understanding and recognizing mental health. Please read further to see how incorporating the below 6 tips in your life can help you engage in self-care. 

Be Assertive

Often saying “no” is accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of guilt, feeling inadequate, not enough or incompetent. For many of us, saying no is not just awkward, it feels wrong. Saying ‘no’ is a skill one can sharpen with time by establishing boundaries at work, at home, and with friends.  

Plan and Audit 

Self-care is different for everyone, it isn’t one size fits all scenario. Your self-care plan needs to be aligned with your needs. When you discover that you’re neglecting a certain aspect of your life, create a plan for change. Keep your progress in check, celebrate your wins, understand your failures. Reassess your life often, as your situation changes, your self-care needs are likely to change too.

Learn to express your feelings 

Anger, frustration, and agitation are completely normal and a hundred percent valid feelings. Suppressing these feelings is extremely harmful and can take a toll on your mental as well as physical health. Explaining your perception without coming across as aggressive is a skill that can help solve most of your life problems. 

Healthy Diet 

We are what we eat. It has been proven throughout centuries that your gut health can make pivotal changes to your mental and overall well-being. As a thumb rule, the portion in every 1 serving should be as such – 0.5 veggies and fruits, 0.25 protein, and 0.25 carbs. Track your water intake throughout the day, plan to ensure you drink enough every day. Sufficient water intake will optimize your brain function.  

Make a Fitness Plan

Regular exercise boosts serotonin levels in your brain which results positively to impacting your sleep cycles, appetite, and digestion. Exercising works like magic for you, just 30 minutes of cardio 5 days a week can drastically improve your overall wellbeing. Apart from physical exercises, we often fail to practice mental exercises. Our brain is involved in everything we do, hence, exercising brain should be incorporated in your routine for memory, focus and daily functionality.   

Relax

Take a breather, detach from everything, forget about your deadlines, just for some time and appreciate your presence on this earth, live in the now. These exercises every day for 15 minutes before you go to sleep will help you combat feelings of depression and anxiety. 

If you are looking to up your self-care game, get in touch with me on my website. I will be pleased to take you through a step-by-step guide on how you can ace your mental and physical health by staying focused and consistent. Refer to my page for additional resources that will be beneficial for you as you partake on this journey.